The Luxury of Uninterrupted and Uncontrolled Time

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This week we talked about how one could bring together insights from post-feminism, new traditionalism, and ideology of choice while reading Probyn's text "New Traditionalism and Post-Feminism (1997)".

We discussed how post-feminist modern women end up being stuck in a "double shift" in the name of modernity. The double shift here being the hours of working outside in an office (in the name of being a 'modern, independent woman') and also the house of still having to take care of the house (because the underlying gender roles don't really change). This results in women always running against time, always in a hurry, and always in a state of lack of time. The definition of 'modern woman' somehow comes to expect women to 'take care of it all' on their own without having to ask for any help - the more self-sufficient they are, the more modern they are. All of it resulting in not having enough time.

When we talk of the lack of time in the above contexts, I want to explore at least two notions of lack of time that come up in the media I grew up watching:

1. Lack of time due to the ticking of the biological clock

2. Lack of uninterrupted time on a daily basis because of the responsibility of taking care of the whole family

> The first notion concerns the biology of a woman's body and the pressure related to societal expectations of this body. In most of the Indian films I grew up watching, the women always have a happy ending when they are happily married and have a certain amount of kids. Marriage and having kids are one of the most significant moments of a woman's life - everything before that is planned in order to get to those stages. The subtle sexist jokes related to menopause are supposed to indicate how the woman might be losing her "valuable womanhood". (Ironically, both menopause, as well as the onset of periods, are seen as taboo in Indian society.) The women are supposed to have it all together before the age of about 28 years so that they can produce healthy babies. (Image 1 below shows a woman doubting her worth because of not being able to give birth to a kid, despite her tremendous professional success - one of the most progressive Indian TV Series called "Bombay Begums (2021)"). 

The women need to have figured out a partner, a career, and 'the plan' by a certain age. The plan to have a kid - because that is what the women's bodies ultimately are made for and that is what women desire as well at the end of the day. And then they are expected to devote time to the kid's upbringing and ultimately, without any choice, step into the second notion of the lack of time forever - which I will explain now. 

> The second notion of lack of time concerns how a woman never has the time to think about herself, her hobbies, her interests, etc. In almost all the films, all of the time of the woman is gone taking care of the children, house, and husband. The woman's value as a good mother or good wife is derived from how much time she can devote to the house. From how easily available she is. There is just no sense of separation between 'her' time and the time she devotes to the family.  (Images 3, 4, and 5 are taken from the film "Taare Zameen Par (2007)" - they show the daily routine of this particular woman where she first helps her husband get ready, then her elder kid, and then the younger kid, all while being in her nightdress. But we never see her getting ready though or having breakfast, unsurprisingly.) The woman is expected to be always available, and her being available and using up her time is something that kids and her husband take for granted. The kids can just randomly barge into the room when she's trying to take a nap to ask something about their homework. The husband can randomly call her and ask her to cook more food because his friends are coming over for dinner in the evening, and so on. 

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This also reminds me of how much I take it for granted that my mom 'should' pick up the phone whenever I call her. And that I can just start talking about my problems whenever she picks up the phone, without asking what kind of situation or headspace she might be in. 

"Of course, she has the time to listen to my problems. That is her duty, no?" 

"Why does she need to buy a separate office to build her business? Cannot she just work at home?"

I think I have my answers now. Time is a luxury most women cannot afford. 







 










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